I Need You Desperately
by S-leonie6
Summary: Post Hogwarts. How will Hermione live without Ron. Please Review!


Okay, so I've actually changed this story quite a bit. I've tried to make it as angst as possible … since that's what I'm aiming for. I was actually listening to very depressing music when I re-wrote this! Well, you can't write a good angst story any other way. Mind you, I think it could be better! I'll probably try my hand at re-writing it again in the future since I'm always re-writing my stories because … well, I always find something that could have been worded better! For example, The Great Revenge - god I've re-wrote that about 50 times … Go read it after this!! okay!! Bye!  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.   
Summery: Post Hogwarts. Hermione tells us how she felt when Harry and Ron were killed by the Dark Lord and how she will continue to live without them, especially Ron. Very short story! R/H.   
  
Please read and review!  
  
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I Need You Desperately  
  
By   
Stacey L Kendall   
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I still ask myself the same questions I did when you left. The same questions that haunt my dreams and cloud my thoughts even though it's been five years. It isn't easy, living without you and the pain never seems to end.   
  
Why?   
  
It seems like a simple enough question, doesn't it? But it isn't, since your not here to give me an answer.   
  
Why did you leave me?   
  
Well, that's simple enough to figure out. You were trying to protect your best friend and for that I admire you greatly. But did you ever stop to think about me? It was me who you should have been rescuing. I've never needed anyone the way I needed you that day.   
  
What we had been dreading for years had happened. All those years of protecting him, of protecting each other. The three Musketeers working together to save the world from Voldemort. He had finally got one of us. After 21 years, Voldemort had finally got what he wanted. The famous Harry Potter. And in the end he got you too.   
  
Why did you leave when you knew there wasn't anything you could have done?   
  
I felt the pain you did when they told us Harry was gone. As a friend he meant everything to you just as you still mean everything to me. Everything you did that night, or tried to do was for him and in the end you ended up dying for him.   
  
You know what hurts the most Ron? If you were willing to sacrifice your life for him then he must have meant more to you than I ever did. I know it seems selfish, but I was the one who needed you. He was gone Ron and I needed you but you left me.   
  
Of course, you thought you were doing the right thing. But there was nothing you could have done. He was dead and I was there, right in front of you but you didn't stop to comfort me. I needed you to hold me, to say that you would always be there. You were the one person who understood how I felt inside. We could have helped each other through the pain of losing our best friend. Instead you left to do something you thought was right. Something that was brave beyond words. You risked your life to go after something you couldn't possibly defeat. Something that we had tried to defeat for years. Voldemort.  
  
I will never forget the look on your face before you left me forever. You smiled, and to this day I still don't know why but your sorrow was clear in your eyes. You were never very good at hiding your pain, at least not from me. It was the same sorrow I saw when your parents were killed. I felt that same sorrow because I lost him too Ron. As if that wasn't bad enough you went and got yourself killed as well and I lost two precious things that night. Like you, Harry was my best friend. But you were so much more. You were my heart, you were my everything and I would have died for you.   
  
Why didn't I stop you?  
  
I shouldn't have let you go. I wanted to scream at you to come back but you wouldn't have listened. Why didn't you think about me. I was the one who was alive. I was the one who needed you. Why didn't you realise how much you meant to me.   
  
I had you there and I let you go and now I'll never see you again. I'll never see your wonderful smile and I'll never hear you laugh again.   
  
I keep thinking I'll see you walk in the door with Harry at your heels, talking about some stupid Quidditch match but I won't. And now it's too late to let you know, it's too late to tell you that I love you Ron Weasley and I'll never stop feeling the way I do.   
  
I thought I saw you once. You were smiling your beautiful smile, your blue eyes sparkling. You know what I did? I walked away, like you walked away from me and now I'll never know if what I saw was real.   
  
I still remember everything. The first time we meet. The time you defeated McGonagall's giant chess board. All our fights even though there were so many. I'll never forget you and all the memories we have together and that's why I can't stop loving you.   
  
Ron; I need you here with me because I'm so scared. I'm terrified because I might not be able to live without you and I certainly won't be able to love anyone else the way I love you.   
  
You're the only one I want.   
  
Did you ever love me? I can't help but wonder. Not that it matters now because we were never meant to be. Oh Ron, I need you desperately and I wish you were here to ease the pain.   
  
I never got to say goodbye to you. I guess a small part of me knew you would never be coming back. I should have told you I love you because I needed you to know, I still need you to know how much I care for you. How much you mean to me, even though you might not have felt the same way but now I'll never know.  
  
If there's one thing I know for sure I'll be with you someday Ron. You and Harry will be waiting for me. But until then I'll hold you close to my heart and I'll never leave you behind.  
  
I'll never forget you.   
  
The End   
  
*SLK* 


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